A bad break-up can be a major blow to your happiness, but getting dumped can really affect your self-esteem. It is hard not to succumb to the sadness and self-loathing that getting dumped can bring on. But after you’re all cried out, how do you maintain your self-esteem?

Take a Breath

First of all, take a deep breath. Sometimes the shock of being dumped can make it feel like you’re drowning. So breathe and keep your head above water.

It’s Not You

Whether your partner dumped you because of their own reasons or because of something they feel you did, know that ultimately it isn’t your fault. There is no point in trying to find blame or pointing fingers at yourself, which will only serve to make you feel worse.

Remember You

Ultimately, you are the most important person here. You need to focus on yourself and remember that you are a wonderful person who is deserving of love and respect. If you can’t give yourself that love and respect, how can you expect anyone else to? Take this time to remember yourself and think of all the reasons why you love yourself.

Get Some Perspective

Sometimes it helps to look at things from an outside perspective. Imagine that one of your friends or loved ones is in the same position that you are in right now. Would you want them to blame themselves, or feel that it is their fault? Would you think that they deserve to wallow in that much misery and give up their self-worth?

If your friend or loved one doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, neither do you. Remember that.

Find Someone to Talk To

Don’t suffer in silence. You are more likely to dig yourself deeper into despair and let your self-esteem slip. Instead, ask a friend or loved one to spend some time with you, and talk it out. Not only will it feel better to have a sounding board, but they will be able to hand you some much-needed perspective so you don’t find fault in every detail.

Talk Yourself Up

Make a list of all the things that you love about yourself, and all of the good things you have to offer not just someone else, but also yourself. You can start with physical attributes, but make sure to include things about your personality. After you make this list, read it often as a reminder of how wonderful you are. If it helps, try reading them out loud.

Treat Yourself

To celebrate you, treat yourself to something special. Something small such as a home spa treatment or a run can do wonders for how you feel. Anything you can do that makes you smile and is healthy, that lets you remember how good life is will help.

Don’t Let Go

Whatever you do, keep your head above water and don’t let go of yourself. Do not allow what someone else says or does diminish your self-esteem, because you are worth more than that. You are important even when you are not part of a couple.

Being dumped is hard; there is no doubt about that. You are strong enough, however, to keep your head up and move on. Find solace in the fact that you are a wonderful, beautiful person and no one can take that away unless you let them. You can maintain your self-esteem by holding on to you, no matter what.

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Dumped? How to Maintain Your Self-Esteem